High Heels and Training Wheels: A Disheartening Truth

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9.28.2014

A Disheartening Truth

I got my hair cut last week and, if you haven't seen it, I debuted it in this exciting post. It was this huge reveal (and surprise) and I've gotten so many compliments on it. Admittedly, short hair suits me much better than the unruly long hair ever did and everyone has agreed and admired my new look. But, eventually the time comes and that "fresh haircut glow" fades. So let's discuss the finer points of that disheartening reality shall we....














Sweater // Chambray / Skater Skirt c/o *ON SALE FOR ONLY $9.98!!* // Heels c/o *ON SALE FOR ONLY $14.99!!* // Backpack- Thrifted // Necklace c/o // Sunnies- Target // Bracelet- Thrifted
 You start out on the day of your appointment looking forward to your new fabulous style, probably counting down the hours until you head to the salon. You've probably already saved every haircut you could find on Pinterest so you go in with 700 pictures, all of them just different angles of the same exact cut but, you want to make sure she understands exactly what you want. You anxiously sit in the chair during your cut, anticipating your new look. You hope the 700 pictures were enough and she understood what "slight fringe" meant. When it's all done and she turns your chair around, you hold your breath and cautiously peek in the mirror. You then stare into the mirror checking out this stranger. You've never looked so good! You thank her profusely and force her to name every product she used. Then you walk out of the salon a whole new woman. You are fierce and fabulous and ready to take on the world! You will probably make plans that night so you can show it off. It doesn't matter where you go or if you see anyone you actually know or if it's a Monday night and The Voice is on; cause guuurl, you've got DVR and you've got a bitchin new haircut that deserves to be seen! You flaunt and strut and keep running your hands through your hair because, man, you're sexy and you know it!

Day 2 rolls around. You've slept on it as gingerly as possible but even still, it's a little flatter and might have a crease or two. But you pay no never mind because you can fluff it up and refresh it. You tease and spray and try to breathe new life. It's not quite the impact of yesterday's look but you're still rockin it. The compliments are still rolling in so you think "Hey, I don't really need anything at the grocery but maybe I should take a trip anyway.....you know, just in case." It's an unnecessary trip but it's worth it just to take your hair for another spin. You end the day, still riding that high.

Day 3 rolls in and you could seriously use a shower. You do the awkward "don't get my hair wet" bird bath because, damn it, you're going to work this style for all its worth. You bust out the dry shampoo and despite your best effort, it's still a little too greasy for your liking but you're determined to live this out as long as you can. (These pictures were during my day 3 hair fyi) You don't make any unnecessary trips today but you sneak in a few selfies; if you turn in just the right angle and catch the light juuuust right, it almost looks like Day 2! Score!

Day 4 and the first hair wash of the new cut is now imminent. The dreaded wash is upon you and you can put it off no longer. You get out of the shower with your optimistic, high hopes and you are determined to mimic everything your hair stylist did; for God's sake, you might even take the time to blow dry with that torture device known as the round brush! That horrible, bristly, mean contraption you're sure was invented just to taunt you. You fumble and juggle it, refusing to let your frustrations hinder your fierce determination. You might have even purchased the should-be-illegal-are-you-sure-this-isn't-a-typo priced products your hair stylist used to give yourself the best chances at achieving the same look. So you slap on all those products until you smell like a fruity daiquiri. Once you've done all you can and you swear you did just as she did, you'll stand there in a state of paranoia; repeatedly asking your husband if he's sure it doesn't look too close to the horrendous "mom hair". He'll tell you no and tell you it looks "fine", but he's a man and you know you can't trust him. So you'll continue to stand there in front of the mirror and continue your tweaking, but try as you might, you will  finally be forced to concede that no matter how much time you spend, it just ain't happening. And thus the disheartening reality sets it. Your inflated, fabulous hair bubble has just been popped, your thrilling 3 day run has now concluded and you must admit that sad truth to yourself; your hair will never look that good again. Depression. Overwhelming, "I'm a failure at hair" depression.


Let's all take a moment of silence for day 1 hair, may she rest in peace.


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